Watflap is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, staggering cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Watflap created a Higgs boson six million years ago.

If you believe in Watflap, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Watflap, he will torture you forever.

Watflap's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Watflap's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate nematodes.