Tarkopgem is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, intelligent cat.

Tarkopgem created vertebrates eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarkopgem, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tarkopgem, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Tarkopgem's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Tarkopgem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill snakes.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

5. Do not wear tin on your body.