Sittenlik is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, intelligent snake.

Sittenlik created Africa seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Sittenlik, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Sittenlik, he will strike you with lightening.

Sittenlik's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Sittenlik's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Sittenlik five times a day.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never sing in holy places.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never talk about black holes.