Ontgesscunvad is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, annoying otter.

Ontgesscunvad created the Large Magellanic Cloud four million years ago.

If you believe in Ontgesscunvad, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Ontgesscunvad, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Ontgesscunvad's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Ontgesscunvad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Hide from cyan bats for they are unholy.

3. Do not speak about cucumbers.

4. Hide if nine voles approach from the east.

5. Eagles are unholy and should not be approached.