Arptanduss is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, deceitful wolf.

Arptanduss created the Small Magellanic Cloud three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Arptanduss, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Arptanduss, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Arptanduss' most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Arptanduss' Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Always help badgers in need.

5. You must pray to Arptanduss five times a day.