Flymitjancam is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, conceited guinea pig.

Flymitjancam created Asia four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flymitjancam, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Flymitjancam, it will destroy your home solar system.

Flymitjancam's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Flymitjancam's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

3. Never mention tapirs.

4. Never sing in holy places.

5. Never wear black shorts.