Bellfadhud is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, idiotic seal.

Bellfadhud created dark energy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Bellfadhud, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Bellfadhud, she will turn you into a hamster.

Bellfadhud's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Bellfadhud's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.