Appjinbarn is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, slow squid.

Appjinbarn created Mount Everest six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Appjinbarn, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Appjinbarn, it will send you a sign.

Appjinbarn's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Appjinbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Appjinbarn.

2. Always make sure there are no mites in a building before entering it.

3. Badgers are not to be trusted.

4. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

5. Do not listen to music.