Kiktimbell is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, staggering ant.

Kiktimbell created the cosmos four billion years ago.

If you believe in Kiktimbell, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Kiktimbell, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Kiktimbell's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Kiktimbell's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about galaxies.

2. Always make sure there are no horses in a room before entering it.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.