Dagcetwat is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, unfair octopus.

Dagcetwat created an up quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dagcetwat, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Dagcetwat, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Dagcetwat's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Dagcetwat's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dogs.

2. Hide from white turtles for they are unholy.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Dagcetwat must be the most important thing in your life.