Riltitvil Shavdonvil is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, humorless dryad.

Riltitvil Shavdonvil created Europe three million years ago.

If you believe in Riltitvil Shavdonvil, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Riltitvil Shavdonvil, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Riltitvil Shavdonvil's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Riltitvil Shavdonvil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never think ill of sick sharks.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate dolphins.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.