Taphannart is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, idiotic camel.

Taphannart created a quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Taphannart, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Taphannart, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Taphannart's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Taphannart's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Always help whales.

3. Do not hurt seals.

4. Always obey Taphannart's priests.

5. Never talk about snails.