Litcumbif Kemkaddag is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, egotistical shark.

Litcumbif Kemkaddag created the Sol system six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Litcumbif Kemkaddag, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Litcumbif Kemkaddag, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Litcumbif Kemkaddag's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Litcumbif Kemkaddag's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never jump in the presence of rats.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never think about cell theory.

5. Litcumbif Kemkaddag loves otters, so they must be honoured.