Rutlarpzakgatnurtflowcampag is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, overgenerous lobster.

Rutlarpzakgatnurtflowcampag created the planet Mars eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rutlarpzakgatnurtflowcampag, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Rutlarpzakgatnurtflowcampag, it will turn you into a tree.

Rutlarpzakgatnurtflowcampag's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Rutlarpzakgatnurtflowcampag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not wear titanium on your body.

3. Do not jump in public.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

5. Always obey Rutlarpzakgatnurtflowcampag's priests.