Staftarpkar is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, unsympathetic capybara.

Staftarpkar created the Milkyway two billion years ago.

If you believe in Staftarpkar, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Staftarpkar, it will turn you into a plant.

Staftarpkar's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Staftarpkar's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry porpoises.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Always help eagles.

5. You must pray to Staftarpkar six times a day.