Hogjopjat is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, confident octopus.

Hogjopjat created the planet Venus three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hogjopjat, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Hogjopjat, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Hogjopjat's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Hogjopjat's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no gulls in a room before entering it.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Worship no other gods but Hogjopjat.

4. Always obey Hogjopjat's priests.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.
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