Futyarlcat is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, deceitful dog.

Futyarlcat created Mount Everest nine million years ago.

If you believe in Futyarlcat, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Futyarlcat, it will turn you into a mouse.

Futyarlcat's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Futyarlcat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

2. Do not eat lemons.

3. Run away if three pigs approach from the east.

4. Always look after injured cats.

5. You must pray to Futyarlcat five times a day.