Kimquamhigquart is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, stupid dragonfly.

Kimquamhigquart created a strange quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Kimquamhigquart, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Kimquamhigquart, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Kimquamhigquart's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Kimquamhigquart's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Erect a large silver sculpture of Kimquamhigquart on top of all buildings.

4. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.