Bonkwithiv is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, tranquil bird.

Bonkwithiv created tapeworms eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bonkwithiv, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bonkwithiv, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Bonkwithiv's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Bonkwithiv's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never think about stars.

3. Never think about amino acids.

4. You must never eat figs.

5. Do not eat turnips.