Gudstragnib is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, loving otter.

Gudstragnib created dark energy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Gudstragnib, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Gudstragnib, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Gudstragnib's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Gudstragnib's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt swans.

2. Retreat if four aardvarks approach from the north.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Gudstragnib.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not speak about bananas.