Rigvonkop is a god.

He takes the form of a small, tranquil chicken.

Rigvonkop created water six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rigvonkop, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Rigvonkop, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Rigvonkop's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Rigvonkop's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if five sheep approach from the north.

2. Never wear shoes.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Rigvonkop.