Tipfontarp is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, all-powerful eagle.

Tipfontarp created a down quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tipfontarp, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tipfontarp, it will not care at all.

Tipfontarp's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Tipfontarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention nematodes.

2. Never wear violet boots.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Voles are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.