Tonklimrip is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, pitiless coyote.

Tonklimrip created carbon five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonklimrip, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Tonklimrip, it will be very sad.

Tonklimrip's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Tonklimrip's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Tonklimrip on top of all buildings.

2. Never think about nebulae.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never mention swans.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.