Bimwonvontaling is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, selfish sheep.

Bimwonvontaling created Europe four years ago.

If you believe in Bimwonvontaling, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bimwonvontaling, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Bimwonvontaling's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Bimwonvontaling's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Always make sure there are no doves in a room before entering it.

5. Do not covet oxen.