Lintapbid is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, overgenerous cat.

Lintapbid created energy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lintapbid, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Lintapbid, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Lintapbid's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Lintapbid's Holy Commandments

1. Put Lintapbid first in all things.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Hide if eight whales approach from the south.

4. Ducks are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not wear zinc on your body.