Zognilcisshabtigdob is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, selfish lobster.

Zognilcisshabtigdob created matter five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zognilcisshabtigdob, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Zognilcisshabtigdob, he will destroy your favourite star.

Zognilcisshabtigdob's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Zognilcisshabtigdob's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Zognilcisshabtigdob must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

5. Never talk about fire.