Pangsagvanwik is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, charitable horse.

Pangsagvanwik created the planet Venus five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pangsagvanwik, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Pangsagvanwik, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Pangsagvanwik's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Pangsagvanwik's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed onions to grasshopers while wearing purple corsets.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not wear lead on your body.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never paint your neck mauve.