Yarpflignutdan Hakwodwipdoss is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, irritating turtle.

Yarpflignutdan Hakwodwipdoss created the Cigar Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarpflignutdan Hakwodwipdoss, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Yarpflignutdan Hakwodwipdoss, she will be very sad.

Yarpflignutdan Hakwodwipdoss' most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Yarpflignutdan Hakwodwipdoss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in violet rooms.

2. Never look at stars.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not kill voles.

5. Never wear black scarves.