Jinyakdon Hubpinbarn is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, bad-tempered bird.

Jinyakdon Hubpinbarn created time and space eight million years ago.

If you believe in Jinyakdon Hubpinbarn, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Jinyakdon Hubpinbarn, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Jinyakdon Hubpinbarn's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Jinyakdon Hubpinbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine nematodes approach from the east.

2. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.