Dudmutvonk is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, quiet jellyfish.

Dudmutvonk created snails five million years ago.

If you believe in Dudmutvonk, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Dudmutvonk, he will remove you from existence.

Dudmutvonk's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Dudmutvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

3. Never write about nebulae.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Do not cook food in pots.