Timbappog is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, staggering manatee.

Timbappog created the Cigar Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Timbappog, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Timbappog, it will turn you into a plant.

Timbappog's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Timbappog's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Timbappog on top of all buildings.

2. Never go into indigo rooms.

3. Run away if six ducks approach from the east.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.