Vilappcim is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, vain pig.

Vilappcim created water twelve years ago.

If you believe in Vilappcim, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Vilappcim, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Vilappcim's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Vilappcim's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Vilappcim.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Always make sure there are no whales in a building before entering it.

4. Always help sick tapirs.

5. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.