Sadbafkiknargambetxemken is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, conceited armadillo.

Sadbafkiknargambetxemken created snails two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sadbafkiknargambetxemken, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Sadbafkiknargambetxemken, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Sadbafkiknargambetxemken's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Sadbafkiknargambetxemken's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never talk about asteroids.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not kill capybaras.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.