Zedbenlarpmig is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, omniscient weasel.

Zedbenlarpmig created matter four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zedbenlarpmig, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Zedbenlarpmig, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Zedbenlarpmig's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Zedbenlarpmig's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Zedbenlarpmig.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

5. Always help sick rats.