Wabpadjinrip is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, strong cow.

Wabpadjinrip created a top quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wabpadjinrip, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Wabpadjinrip, he will turn you into a dog.

Wabpadjinrip's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Wabpadjinrip's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never think about galaxies.

3. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never feed melons to monkeys while wearing turquoise shorts.