Bassfitfarn is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, loving chicken.

Bassfitfarn created the Milkyway nine million years ago.

If you believe in Bassfitfarn, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Bassfitfarn, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Bassfitfarn's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Bassfitfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Bassfitfarn loves mites, so they must be honoured.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never mention aardvarks.