Jiplenhitlambasstipcussdob is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, deceitful gorilla.

Jiplenhitlambasstipcussdob created the Black Eye Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jiplenhitlambasstipcussdob, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Jiplenhitlambasstipcussdob, it will have a low opinion of you.

Jiplenhitlambasstipcussdob's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Jiplenhitlambasstipcussdob's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Always look after injured tortoises.

3. Never write about black holes.

4. Never wear scarves.

5. Never think ill of sick capybaras.