Venbadpan is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, competent badger.

Venbadpan created energy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Venbadpan, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Venbadpan, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Venbadpan's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Venbadpan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about moths.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never think about cell theory.

5. Venbadpan must be the most important thing in your life.