Habtadhig is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, pitiless lobster.

Habtadhig created the Sun three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Habtadhig, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Habtadhig, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Habtadhig's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Habtadhig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Badgers are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never feed limes to whales while wearing turquoise jumpers.