Bagdodfem is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, grumpy walrus.

Bagdodfem created humankind four million years ago.

If you believe in Bagdodfem, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bagdodfem, he will turn you into a mouse.

Bagdodfem's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Bagdodfem's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no pigs in a building before entering it.

2. Do not wear green clothing.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Retreat if five ducks approach from the west.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.