Padgumhun is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, kind cobra.

Padgumhun created the world seven million years ago.

If you believe in Padgumhun, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Padgumhun, it will turn you into a dog.

Padgumhun's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Padgumhun's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about gravity.

2. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate aardvarks.

5. Always make sure there are no grasshopers in a room before entering it.