Afnuttbissban is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, stupid raccoon.

Afnuttbissban created the planet Earth three billion years ago.

If you believe in Afnuttbissban, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Afnuttbissban, it will think nothing of it.

Afnuttbissban's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Afnuttbissban's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Run away if nine tortoises approach from the north.

3. Never write about stars.

4. Do not wear magenta clothing.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.