Yarptarfomjambuglamjip is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, thoughtless crane.

Yarptarfomjambuglamjip created everything that exists eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarptarfomjambuglamjip, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Yarptarfomjambuglamjip, she will think nothing of it.

Yarptarfomjambuglamjip's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Yarptarfomjambuglamjip's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if seven whales approach from the east.

2. Always help sick tapirs.

3. Do not dye your hair mauve.

4. You must love Yarptarfomjambuglamjip.

5. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.