Dudgamzed Labvolneg is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, egotistical narwhal.

Dudgamzed Labvolneg created parasitic wasps two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dudgamzed Labvolneg, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Dudgamzed Labvolneg, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Dudgamzed Labvolneg's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Dudgamzed Labvolneg's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never write about amino acids.

4. Never talk about cell theory.

5. Retreat if six swans approach from the east.