Yiklitflamlim is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, generous hydra.

Yiklitflamlim created dark matter five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yiklitflamlim, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Yiklitflamlim, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Yiklitflamlim's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Yiklitflamlim's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about stars.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Retreat if three sharks approach from the east.

4. Fast once a month.

5. You must pray to Yiklitflamlim nine times a day.