Latbifgeb is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, two-faced walrus.

Latbifgeb created the Sun seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Latbifgeb, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Latbifgeb, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Latbifgeb's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Latbifgeb's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large copper sculpture of Latbifgeb on top of all buildings.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate grasshopers.

4. Always help voles in need.

5. Retreat if five snakes approach from the north.