Fossbimpib is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, dishonest seal.

Fossbimpib created the Sun nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Fossbimpib, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Fossbimpib, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Fossbimpib's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Fossbimpib's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Hide if seven monkeys approach from the east.

3. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.

4. Never run in the presence of cats.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.