Ortapptip is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, unthinking grasshopper.

Ortapptip created the universe twelve years ago.

If you believe in Ortapptip, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ortapptip, she will send minions to preach to you.

Ortapptip's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Ortapptip's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no pigs in a building before entering it.

2. Never talk about stars.

3. Retreat if eight seals approach from the north.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Ducks are not to be trusted.