Gutvanpad is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, fast centaur.

Gutvanpad created Africa three million years ago.

If you believe in Gutvanpad, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gutvanpad, she will manifest in front of you.

Gutvanpad's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Gutvanpad's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about bats.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never hurt snakes.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.