Omthapbaf Sughugwig is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, selfish mink.

Omthapbaf Sughugwig created Mount Everest eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Omthapbaf Sughugwig, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Omthapbaf Sughugwig, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Omthapbaf Sughugwig's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Omthapbaf Sughugwig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Omthapbaf Sughugwig loves birds, so they must be honoured.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Always make sure there are no snails in a building before entering it.

5. Do not drink alcohol.